Hamster Balls and Lysol


Bruins proving that even after a whole year, they can still get down and jiggy on the dance floor.

ILIKEROX84371, Staff Writer

Even as Covid-19 cases lessen, Wilson students will be deprived of an in-person prom, again. Or will they? Wilson’s newest teacher, Mr. Dan Druff, shared his brilliant idea in a recent faculty meeting. Druff said, “Sure we could try to do a virtual prom, but that’s no fun. Let’s see if the students would like to experience prom in the protective plastic that is the hamster bubble!” 

Coincidentally, Druff has a side gig on the app “Bubz,” the latest tech company connecting those in need of personal hamster bubbles with local hamster bubble vendors. Druff agreed to provide the students with the hamster bubbles at a “discounted rate,” ranging between $200 to $500 per student. This price does not include the required Lysol wipes upon entry. 

Not only do these bubbles keep the students safe from spreading Covid-19, they also are fashion statements. So you were going to wear a tuxedo to the prom? Well look no further than Bubz’ Tuxubble, the hamster bubble that’s so epic! Going for the traditional prom gown look? Try the Chanel-ster, for the couture plastic protective experience. Are you the eco-conscious type? There is a thrifted bubble that comes with a side of avocado toast and a tote bag!   

With these upgraded outfits, prom will also have some improvements.  Hamster wheels will be placed throughout the venue, provided as an accessible activity for the students.  There will also be hamster bubble trails for rolling around the facility. Of course, the floors will be covered in wood shaving for a real hamster experience. 

There are a few downsides with going with a Hamster bubble prom. The buffet won’t be that exciting, just sunflower seeds and one of those drippy bottles of water you hang upside down.